Not doing anything but hearing blood flow - Day 6 of 30 day writing challenge

30-Day writing challenge through Kale & Cigarettes (500 words)

My theme continues... the one where I'm not supposed to do anything. Not doing a thing except holding the universe together sounds good.

It's like going with the flow of life, not making any proactive decisions that don't involve living in the moment or taking cues from what comes before me. I don't need to figure anything out. I have already prayed enough and engaged with the Law of Attraction and my purple-lighted 7th chakra more times than I can remember. It's time to sit back and receive.

optical illusion?

A few hours ago, I thought I was really making progress. I saw a vivid-colored object in my eyesight, which appeared whether my eyes were open or shut. It was multi-colored. I was alone so I spoke to it and was happy to believe it answered back and was telling me that my wish is on the way—that last wish, the big one. I thanked it and smiled in the mirror.

Later, I realized that I was very fatiqued and also have a tendency to have light-sensitive eyes, and despite the fact that it's 53 degrees in the Bay Area and foggy, the light was still getting in. I drank a ton of water. Then it dawned on me that I'm probably dehydrated.

I suddenly became concerned about my new colored vision. Was that just a new form of "seeing stars"? An optical illusion like from a kaleidoscope? It was not my wish speaking to me? I went to Acupuncture to figure it out.

where you can hear your blood flow

There, tapped into the fluid world induced by needles and trickling water, I heard my heart beating—no, I heard my blood flowing, except it was like a wave. My analytical mind came forward at first to question how that could sound like a wave. Maybe my blood pressure was too low and I was experiencing what people who go on ambulances experience on their way there, analogous to "I saw my life flash before me" but instead it was "I heard my blood flowing really slowly." Heavy into some kind of dream state, I twitched as if waking up from a nap—the kind where you are sleeping in a room full of people and you aren't supposed to be sleeping. Except it didn't seem like I was sleeping.

Maybe I felt funky because I mixed the wrong homeopathic Boiron remedies together on the way to the acupuncturist—the little blue tubes, which I have an App for now so I get it. I took one for fatigue/chills, one for minor aches and one for muscle twitches (which I experienced on the way out the door). I told my acupuncturist that I was experiencing euphoric fatigue.

I don't quite understand Acupuncture yet, but I do understand my subtle body. It's way more interesting than normal life sometimes, especially today. I think that my yoga brought down my boundaries this morning and made me *feel* a thought rather than listen to its mindless chatter. Feeling it was intense, like I wanted it to stop, but then as I willed it to stop (I think I had that power), I wanted it back. I all of a sudden felt like a wimp for not being able to hold it.

It's about control and letting go of it, especially as it relates to loved ones who I feel I need to influence and guide. I think what my experience today was telling me is that I need to just do nothing, lean on the balcony railing and hold the universe up.