Circular discussions on grasping onto happiness - Day 25 of 30 day writing challenge

To be or not to be at peace

I read an article today posted on the Elephant Shambhala facebook page about True Love from a Buddhist's perspective. I immediately clicked on it believing it would all be about how it's not really love if you are grasping on to another person. [I hate those articles].

30-Day writing challenge through Kale & Cigarettes (500 words)

But instead I found that it was a very meaningful article. I could not help but use this quote as my topic to write about today:

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

~ Woody Allen

Yes, a very circular argument. But it's perfect for the topic of love. We want to be ecstatic and happy but then we suffer with our desires when the other is not there. But we do it anyway because the love of falling in love outweighs the fear of falling.

love to suffer to not love to be happy to not suffer too much happiness

Why do I hate the articles that mix Buddhism with falling in love? Because it's as if they are trying to talk me out the greatest gift of all: the act of falling. If I were spending all of my efforts on cooling down my desires, I'd never experience this blissful feeling, despite the other feelings (that all go against a medtative state of awareness and emptiness). I don't want to step on anyone's toes by expressing any disdain for Buddhism, especially since I truly believe in the spiritual necessity to calm oneselves to a place where all fears and anxiousness are gone, so that the true self is there to shine. That is love. I love love.

What I bask in is the process. The process of feeling my way—through ups and downs, yes—is all part of getting to the other side. I don't expend all of my efforts toward making the ups and downs go away so that I can see the truth. I feel my ups and downs. That is part of the beauty of love. It's a balancing act, but with fearless liveliness.

i like roller coasters and engagement

Although Woody Allen's quote is meant to be humorous, yet truthful in its own way, I can relate to it. In short, there is no straight path and when you're in it, you're fully in it if you're alive and fearless about love. If you're not into roller coasters, then you shy away and take a walk of non-engagement instead; here, you bask in the love for yourself and feel it coming to you in all directions.

But, what if you're not in the solid state of being, calmed and directed, to be able to immerse yourself in the hero's journey of a peaceful walk in nature to find peace? [I struggled with my thesaurus to come up with the best words to use in that description and crossed each of them out because I do not want to 1) be judgmental toward anyone reading this and 2) make my own process too public.]

Did I just open up a can of worms?