Absorbing vulnerability through humor - Day 14 of 30 day writing challenge

Monty Python killer rabbit (Source: embercaddington.deviantart.com)

30-Day writing challenge through Kale & Cigarettes (500 words)

I had a dream last night of a cave where I've got giant tongs to reach into the cave and pull out stuff that needs to go. I pulled out one big black thing with tentacles that I wanted to throw away quickly without any of it touching me. I said, "My Vulnerability". I was in the desert and knew that I could throw it in the hot sand to put an end to it. Sand absorbed its stickiness so it would no longer attach to me.

I killed my vulnerability...

What I pulled out of my self holds me back from seeing the truth in me, in others, in life. It infected me. I got it out. I did it!

I can't help but notice the cave had a resemblance to the one from Monty Python's Holy Grail with the killer rabbit coming out to get you if you answer the question wrong. I burned out the “I said something wrong” mentality. This dream symbol is a good juxtaposition between fear and humor, huh!

Chaos and cohesion

Continuing on my theme of balance (from yesterday), being real and at the same time finding my higher self, I read an article this morning by Matt Licata that caught my eye entitled “The Middle is the Secret Place”:

"Falling apart, holding it all together. Then falling apart, then holding it all together again. Cycles of integration and disintegration. Chaos and cohesion. Stillness and rest. In ways the mind may never resolve, love is pouring through you, washing away everything that is less than whole, preparing you for what is next. But what is next is always of the unknown and will never be understood ahead of time by means of the conceptual.”

That quote, along with my dream last night, are such a culmination of where my Ashtanga yoga has taken me in the last year in my life after 19 years of yoga. Mysore is the answer for me (finally). Witnessing Samskaras, karmas, habitual mental patterns burning off is my gift finally arriving, after shooting the arrow long ago. It has finally come back to me. It's been my nature to know that chaos is where I go to become soothed. I guess I've intuitively known its cohesion counterpart. Love is always the best way to go.

Humor through a rabbit

Back to the killer rabbit. Humor is my vehicle to rising above that which bothers me on an unconscious level, especially when fear is involved. What am I really scared of, I ask myself? Is it really so bad as that? Do I truly feel that if I do or say something wrong—just once—that I'm finished with my quest and will not reach my ultimate goal or dream (holy grail)?

Back to Matt Licata, the unknown is where I'm headed. The dark cave symbolism. Dark caves in dreams are exploring the unconscious and are empowering. The unknown holds many possibilities, not to be feared.

I almost can't wait to see what I dream tonight...

Time to laugh at myself for that one! I will dedicate my day to Monty Python and speaking in that high-pitched voice.