When you're addicted to technology (and you detox, but then need to come back home)

don't come back, just stay there

Originally posted on my Medium account.

you love vacations but you take your smartphone too

What could be worse than coming home from a vacation after successfully detoxing yourself from the everyday technology that rules your life?

You think you need it. You think you are so important and if you go without your updates or reads for an hour, you have a panic attack thinking that people will think you’re slacking off, you’ll lose your digital follower-gathering momentum or something horrible will happen to you—like you will be completely ignored and lonely in the world.

technology addiction—is it real?

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Lady with the red pants: When yoga is humiliating

Originally posted on Recovering Yoga Novemeber 2010, and later on my Medium account.

I was once called Lady with the Red Pants by a strict yoga teacher with whom I’d been practicing yoga for 6 years.

humiliation from across the room

She called out to me from across the room with this name to give me a simple instruction. I, an avid student in her class for all those years, surely felt that I deserved more respect than this.

True, it wasn’t exactly her nature to speak to her students and thereby get to know their names. And although I knew this, and never myself attempted to introduce myself or speak to her—ever, in fact—I still felt angry at this label she gave to me. I did know for sure that I was a dedicated yogini, attending her classes regularly, and considered myself a personally powerful person, so at the time I took this comment with a grain of salt. I laughed to myself.

Sometimes I tell this story to others. But just today, I decided that I have given this imagery (and emotion) of that situation in my past too much real estate in my brain! For, the pants themselves tell the story whenever I see them. I never wear them anymore, yet I still keep them. I tell myself that I definitely have to be in the mood to wear them.

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When your computer hard drive fails spontaneously: Frustration or freedom?

If you're like most people, you have a lot of your life—both personal and business—on your computer. From financial records to secret writing to documents for your work. Right? 

You probably have plenty of digital photos and videos, that although priceless in nature—especially of your babies—have always seemed safe on your computer. They have been transferred from computer to computer, as old computers have been replaced with newer ones, hard drives transferred intact.

priceless memories and data

You probably don't think much about losing all of that on a day-to-day basis. Do you?

If you've been doing this for years and have lost data before by stupid spacious moments (accidents) such as spilling a glass of wine onto the keyboard, or letting the computer get too hot and fry unknowingly, you probably know the pain and swore it would never happen to you again! 

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Today I will write a manifesto: Writing my future with full clarity

image: Kirsten Honeyman pacifichorticulture.comI put it in my calender that today I will write a manifesto. I thought about this in yoga this morning. I started writing in my mind. Then—after coming home—I decided to go back to a second yoga class in a row in order to get psyched; it was Bikram yoga no less. It was a physical yoga manifesto. Now, back at home, I am writing this blog instead. I will probably do the dishes next.

My cat knows something is up. He has positioned himself in a new spot today by the heat vent near my desk. He is watching me. Cats are mind readers. They know things. He is watching me as if he sees the future floating above my head.

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Words, phrases or gestures that have multiple meanings

you twirl your hair?

Does twirling your hair really mean you are nervous? Does [...] really mean something obvious? What about the source behind being late, or a silent response to a question?

Each unique, each powerful in its own way. Not to be assumed.

Although a masculine business model will postulate that twirling hair equates to inequality with the rest of them, to me the gesture means deep thought, creatively-driven moments, uncaptured any other way except through the spinning touch of fingers against hair. A sort of brain massage releases the free-floating idea submersed in chaos to come alive. Calm and clear.

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Healthy eyesight: Luteins, red wine and computers

I went to the optometrist today for my first time in all my years—having 20/20 vision all my life—because I noticed that in the last year or so, I am no longer able to read the fine print on my iPhone. For that matter, I cannot focus on anything anymore that is within a one-foot distance from my eyes. This is new for me.

Short of getting reading glasses, which I'm actually excited about for the first time in my life, I wanted to get a detailed eye exam to find out the real scoop on my eyes and get an expert opinion on how to proceed.

To make a long story short, I was prescribed luteins. Or should I say, more luteins—in other words, red wine. As a red wine enthusiast (both consumer and wine-tasting tour-vacationer), I am continually happy to hear of the health benefits of my beverage of choice. My only alcoholic beverage, in fact.

red wine grapes

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Learning how to live like a cat

I have wondered lately if it would be possible to live the life of one of my two indoor cats, and if I were to accomplish this endeavor, how relaxed life would be. As I rush around through my days full of schedules and kids, I often remind myself of the solace I will feel when I finally get to relax on the floor—alone in a space to call my own, just big enough for me, for a meditative yoga pose... eyes closed.

But as I break free from my own little world, looking into the universe that my cats call home, I find that they are to be revered as far as wellness is concerned.

I once told a friend of mine that I'm taking a two week vacation, yet to stay at home. My vacation was to be at home and live the life of a cat.

I would wake up when I please, get someone to make me food and change my water, and then look for a warm, sunny spot to chill for awhile. If it got too loud, I would retreat to a cozy, cavelike spot surrounded with all things warm and fluffy. I would sleep for hours, only to wake when I missed the people I love.

I would then make my way to them to cuddle with glee, purr loudly and enjoy my bliss—sometimes by a bonus fireplace—and life would be complete.

Meow.

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What I said is not what I mean

I recently saw a quote which sparked my interest:

"I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don't understand is what I said is not what I mean."

At the same moment, I also saw this misty photograph, captured under the category of 'bridges over troubled water'. For some reason I feel the two have relation in what I'm trying to say to myself in this moment.

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